Everything that was happening to me felt like a dream. Tiny hands touched my face,my eyes opened there was my son. I got off the bed carrying him going to the kitchen
"Mawe you are already going?"
"Yes Gugu I am working today"
"I thought I was going to leave Siya with you as I go to the Postnet to fix my CVs" she sighed
"Put Siya on your back and do what every mother does. It's about time you man up. I am sure you want everything to be given to you Gugu,stop feeling as if you are entitled to everything and the world owes you nothing"
"I didn't say I will leave him behind anyway it's fine Mawe"
I went to the bathroom to get my son and myself ready. After eating we walked to Postnet to get my CVs created , I made twenty copies. I was handing out my CV in most of the shops I caught a glimpse of a manager from Steers squashing it and throwing it in the dustbin that really broke my heart.
We got home around two, Vumani walked in carrying groceries
"How are you MaNdaba? "
"I am good and you Zwane?" He smiled revealing his perfect teeth
"I am good, I came to drop this by the way I am in a hurry"
"Thank you Bhuti please greet MakaZuzi for me" he nodded picking up Siya. They looked so adorable together that made me miss Dumi more. He kissed his forehead and left.
I took a pen and drafted my ideas fast I wasn't going to let my son starve . After remembering the tupperware and avon papers under my cupboard, I quickly grabbed my phone and called Nosipho to come over within 30 minutes she was already in my house
"Hey Nosi how are you?" She smiled
"I am good and you sisi?" I stood up and got her juice
"I am good ,I wanted to tell you that I am ready to sell Avon and Tupperware" she smiled
"I promise you Gugu you will make good money as long as you are dedicated"
"Give me the forms I will fill them now. I will sell it in my church"
"That would work Gugu plus people from church are supportive and you can also join me in my corner"
"I will start selling from tomorrow, I need to make money as soon as possible" she laughed
"That is the spirit independent women are the best" she stood up
"I won't leave you far Nosi Siya is sleeping"
"Ok dear"
We spoke about the money for buying stock that wasn't a problem I was going to use Siya's money that we got from his birthday. I used the money in the card to pay rent for next eight months we were left with few cents.
Aunty came back around six
"How was your day Mawe?" She threw herself on the couch
"Good Gugu how was yours?"
"Ok, I will dish up for you now. After eating may you please help me move the things in the other two bedrooms to my main room"
"Why should we move them?"
"I will rent them out, I will prefer women. I don't trust men especially if it's me alone" she smiled
"What happened to my daughter " I laughed
"Life happened"
We washed dishes and moved everything to my main bedroom. We slept around one am. The next morning I left with aunty in the morning. I pasted my numbers on the pick and pay boards.
I took a taxi to the hospital. His mother stood up when she saw me
"Gugu my daughter how are you?"
"I am good ma and you?" She shook her head sniffing
"Look at you now, this is bad it hasn't been a week but you are already like this. Do not give up my love" she hugged me I couldn't hold my sobs anymore
"When is he waking up? "
"I wish I knew, Siya come to gogo" I handed Siya to Makheswa and went to Dumi,he was laying there looking lifeless
"Mangethe it's Gugu I wanted to tell you that I have started a business of selling to provide for Siya as you are still busy fighting for your life. Fight Zwane fight (yelling) Mangethe fight for your son he needs you to come back and play soccer with him. Fight muntu wami" tears were coming out effortlessly . I wanted to have faith but my fears were failing me. Zwane wasn't himself I could see that he was troubled he truly loved Dumi because he was a yes sir child he never questioned his parents.
"Baba all is going to be ok" he looked at me with his eyes full of doubt
"I hope so my daughter, are you coping though? I feel like you are too young to deal with this ordeal"
" I am getting there baba, I believe that he will fight for us. I am leaving I will see you weekend" Makheswa gave me my son who was already sleeping.
Six different people called me enquiring about the rooms. I told them everything I ended up choosing two women who were Christians because I didn't want those people who were going to rock in the house around three am drunk.
They both moved in within two days, they had no kids and they were very sweet. I had started selling my tupperware products and avon products house by house it was the easiest way to get more money. I quietly sat on the rock wiping my forehead which was full of sweat as the sun was scorching. I already had few clients that motivated me to work harder. I had taken Siya to crèche he was really excited about being in a different environment, he was only used to having me around.
It had been two months since Dumi slipped into the coma it wasnt easy for me but we were surviving. My church members used to visit and pray for him.
For the very first time since I moved in with Dumi I ate chicken feet they were affordable.
"Siya come and eat enough with your books now" my son loved colouring
When I gave him the food he shook his head screaming
"I will beat you up now shut up" he continued screaming Zodwa got out of her room
"My boy come here why are you crying? What is mommy doing to my handsome husband? We will beat mommy" He went to her
"Siya is crazy Zodwa he doesn't want to eat he thinks I am his father, he has to eat whatever I cook " Zodwa laughed
"I will give him my food he doesn't want what you cooked Gugu, those chicken feet look scary uh" we both laughed
"He has to eat different dishes so that he can easily adapt the day he suffers"
Zodwa fed him he ate until he was full this boy was going to be the death of me. We prayed before going to bed I had trained him well he knew how to close his eyes and kneel before bed .
We woke up around six am and got ready for the day I had made a simple lunchbox. I left Siya at crèche and went to my spot where I sell my things. People started ordering early it was surely my lucky day I prayed thanking God.
Around two I received a call " no not Siya oh my God please send me directions" words failed me all I could do was to cry running to a taxi rank like a mad woman.
God had failed my family.
Tears were clouding my eyes I could barely see the road my heart was beating very fast .
Each heartbeat was accompanied by a hiccup .
"Hey you do you want me to kill you? Are you drunk?" I was in front of his BMW, he looked at me pissed, he got out of the car and came to me
"Are you okay sisi?"
"No (shaking her head) I'm not I just received a call saying my son is in the hospital" he helped me to stand up because I had fallen in front of his car.
"Let's get inside the car,do you know the hospital he was taken to? "
"They said he is Johannesburg hospital I don't know why they took him that far they should have taken him to Netcare he has a medical aid"
"We will drive to hospital it's fine, take that cloth behind you and wipe your face. People will say I am abusive " I laughed
"Thank you but do you really care about what people say? I often do what I think is right. What my heart wants and I will face the consequences later" He laughed showing his dimples
"You are a definition of a crazy person , a risk taker for sure. Are you married?"
"No not yet but I stay with the father of my son and you?"
"No I am not, how long have you been staying with him?"
"Nearly two years" he shook his head
"I don't want to lie to you but the chances of you getting married to him are slim. When a man wants to marry you he doesn't stay that long without talking about marriage. Be alert my sister" he was starting to annoy me, Dumi loved me more than anything and he was never going to hurt me.
"What's your name again bhuti?"
"Vusi Dlomo and you ? "
"Gugu Ndaba we have been talking like friends forgetting that we didn't introduce ourselves to each other."
"It's nice knowing you just give me your phone number since we are already here. Do you want me to go in with you?"
"Yes let's go together I have already sent my sisters messages" he opened the door for me he was a gentleman. He told me about himself, luckily we were from the same church just different branches what a great coincidence it was.
We walked inside the Charlotte Maxeke unit and went to the receptionist I was so scared of the unknown.
"Good day mam"
"Good day mam how are you?"
"I wish I was good, I am looking for my baby who was admitted here today by his teacher." She checked the files
"May you please give me his name"
"Siyabonga Ndaba" she got busy using her computer after a minute she looked at us
"Ok you may go to the third floor the second ward from your left"
My body was sweating , my breathing changed Vusi held my hand.
When we got inside the ward my son was crying
"Mama mama come " I ran to him with tears in my eyes
"What happened Ndaba? Oh my God why has the Lord forsaken me this much" his teacher walked in
"Miss Ndaba how are you?"
"You clearly don't expect me to say I'm good right ? What happened to my son? Why is he here?"
"He fell from a seesaw and broke his leg" his hands held me
"Gugu be strong you can't break down like this in front of your son" my screams and sobs were too much
"Vusi God has forsaken me, I am too young to handle this. His father is in a Coma fighting for his life while my son is here with a broken a leg" he kept on hugging me comforting my soul. I wanted to believe that all things were working for my good, that I am going through trials and tribulations but that was hard for me.
Mawe walked in with my sisters
"Oh MaNdaba come here" I moved away from Vusi's embrace and went to aunty.
"his leg is broken Mawe how am I going to win this test that is happening in my life? Uh why is God choosing me ? Why not others?"
"Why not you MaNdaba? When it rains it pours. Not all storms that come into your life are there to destroy you. Some are there to clear the dirt which is in your way of succeeding. Be strong and courageous God has your back"
"God doesn't love me (crying) I won't pray anymore I am done Mawe"
"No you are not remember how Job suffered? Do you remember him cursing God?"
"No he didn't but I'm not Job"
"Good you will pray and overcome because you are stronger than him" I rubbed my eyes nodding. This was a test and I wasn't going to give up.
I gave Vusi my numbers and thanked him.
Busi looked at me
"Gugulethu who is that guy who was hugging you? Have you moved on already? Are you forgetting that Dumi is in hospital fighting for his life?"
"He is a stranger Busi who helped me today. Stop jumping into conclusions. You guys always want to fight with me even if I don't" she looked sorry
"I am sorry my love"
Zinzi was busy comforting my son.
The doctor came and gave him the medication for pain. Zinzi and I slept in the hospital. Zinzi was married to man who was perfect if there was any perfect man. Busi often admired their relationship it was a true love relationship. They were actually relationship goals.
Zinzi woke me up around 1 am
"Let's pray Gugu the devil is fighting you don't let him win"
"Ok Zinzi"
We knelt down praying words were failing me but God knew what my heart was saying.
Siya stayed in the hospital for two weeks. The Zwanes came to see him, Makheswa called everyday. My son had a plaster on his left leg.
"Gugu it's better for me to take care of Siya since you are always working to meet your needs"
"Are you sure Mawe ? What about your job?" She smiled
"You don't have to worry Gugu my boss love kids. She doesn't mind I asked her first before coming to you"
"Thank you Mawe I love you so much. I am nothing without you" she laughed
"You are nothing without God"
"Yes you are right mamfundisi (they both laughed ) let me pack his clothes"
I packed his clothes in my mini travelling bag. Siya was so excited about leaving with Mawe. Siya loved anyone who was leaving the house. I accompanied them and gave them money for groceries
"Mama I love you"
"I love you too my son mama will visit you mhn" he kissed me
"Bye mama" I was getting all emotional
"Do not mind me Mawe it's my first time being separated from Siya I already miss him"
"You can always call when you miss him Gugu or visit us"
It had been eight months since Dumi slipped into a coma. My business was blooming Vusi and I were prayer partners he was very powerful.Mawe and Siya used to come every friday to visit me for the weekend and they left every Sunday in the evening.
I woke up around 10, my mood was just sour. All I needed was a shower to boost my mood. Zodwa was off every Tuesday so I knew that she was going to accompany me to the hospital to visit Dumi.
I heard the door opening
"Zodwa hurry up we have to visit Siya's father. Zodwa Zodwa" I took my lotion and removed my towel she was clearly keeping quiet on purpose, I was so used to her childish behaviour . The door of my bedroom opened it was Senzo.
I shouted at him taking my towel trying to hard my naked self
"Senzo I am naked go outside, since when do you get inside my bedroom " his look was horrifying he looked like a beast
"I finally saw the sexy body that drives my brother crazy" he was coming close while I was moving backward
"What .. what .. do.. you want Senzo?" I was so scared my intestines were cringing, my tears were watering my face
"Why are you crying you whore? I want to do you a favour by meeting your needs and you are busy crying. You should be grateful that I care about you eight months without getting sex is not a joke unless if you are fucking your pastor " I nervously asked him a question, but I knew what he meant .
"What are you talking about ?" I tried running towards the door he pulled me by my weave and slapped me not once or twice but multiple times. I was crying and praying hoping that Zodwa will come and save me
"Senzo please stop oh my God you are hurting me" I slapped him he got more angry took out his gun
"Sleep on that bed and open your legs" I wanted to be saved not even God was capable of doing that
"Senzo think about Dumi he is going to get hurt"
"Gugu shut the fuck up" he removed his clothes thus when I knew that reality had kicked in. His shaft was big I closed my eyes I wanted this pain to pass
"Today I am going to give you what you want" I sobbed softly my voice disappeared,tears rolled down my cheek. My soul was slowly drifting away from my body. He was looking murderous and proud
He pushed his hard shaft inside me I felt an excruciating pain that was separating my soul from my body. He moved inside me very fast he was clearly tearing my vagina
"You better shake Gugu or we will do this shit the whole day" he pinched my nipples I felt his hot come inside me.
"Fuck that was so good we should do this more often. I know that you enjoyed. You should stop pretending as if you are innocent (Laughing) you loved it right?" he stood up and dressed leaving twenty rands next to me.
I often imagined the sound of tension as an ear gritting sound,like finger nails being dragged down the blackboard but at this moment there was nothing but silence.
Everything was swirling around me,all that had been static before had discarded it's roots and blew away hope love God faith..
To be continued..
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